Her Manhattan Illusion

Somewhere in the last 72 hours I have became obsessed with the 90's TV show "Sex and the City." Its like every episode is describing exactly how I feel at the moment. I can only wonder if this is something every woman goes through at some point in their lives?

After my last break up, I decided it was time that I take a break from the dating scene to re-discover who I am. Which ended up leaving me with more questions than answers. So far, I have discovered that everything I thought I wanted out of a relationship is nothing more than things I was told I am supposed to want. It was always "get married and have kids." Do I even want kids? I know I want to have a career and experience new things and people but I am really ready to give up my dreams and goals so another person could live out theirs? And am I really ready to settle down with one person? I've only ever had two serious relationships, is that really enough? I'm not saying that I want to sleep around with various men, but I do think that its important to explore the dating scene. I don't think I need to settle on a guy just because that's what I'm supposed to do. I've spent the last five years with a guy that, if I'm going to be honest, I wasn't in love with. I was in so deep that I was afraid to leave him and my "I'm in a relationship" comfort zone. I can only wonder if I would have stayed with him for so long had I not had so much pressure from the world around me.

I think life should be about more than just getting married and having kids. I think it should be about meeting new people and having new experiences. I don't think I believe in all that bogus "love at first site" crap. I don't think relationships are meant to last forever. The people who try to force a relationship passed its expiration date just end up exhausted and depressed. They miss out on many things in life because they are so busy trying to be "normal." The most difficult lesson in life is learning to enjoy a good thing while they last and understanding when it's time to let go, but it can be done!

Now, if you spend all your time just people letting go, you'll probably go insane. Which is where friendship becomes IMPORTANT. Just like Carrie, I don't know where I would be without my best friends. They support me, encourage me to be my best, and give hell to any jerk that breaks my heart. They've seen me at my best and caught my tears at my worst. They stand by me even through my madness. And at the end of the day I know my life is going to be just as full and complete as anyone else's because I have these two wonderful people at my side.

Ex Animo,

SimplyPiscesLogic

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