"Enough"

Many of you do not know that I dedicated most of my childhood to writing poems and short stories. I struggled with depression and my way of dealing with it was by writing. Most of my writings were very dark. I was filled with so much hate and anger...I had my reasons, but at this time, its better left unsaid. Over the next few weeks I plan to share my previous writings with you. Complete in their original form. I must apologize in advance because my grammar was even worse then.

This poem is called "Enough - This is what drugs can do." I wrote it about my high school boyfriend, who struggled with drug addiction. He was a great person at one time, but as the drugs set in he changed. He became very angry, controlling, and abusive. At first, I thought that I could help him. I thought I could be the reason for him to change. As time past, I slowly began to realize that you can't change someone that doesn't want your help. Sadly for him, his drug problems got increasingly worse as we aged. I decided that it was best for me to force him out of my life. The last I heard he had got mixed up with some bad people and he began using heroin and meth. It still hurts me to my core that this is the path he chose in life. I can't help but wonder who he could have been had he just listened to my advice.

I hope you enjoy my poem. I wrote it 2/26/2008, I was 16 years old. I welcome any thoughts and opinions you may have. Looking at it now, I can see a few things I would like to change about it but for now I am going to leave it as it is.

Ex Animo, SimplyPiscesLogic

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Enough

(This is what drugs can do)

You treat life like it’s a game, always searching for that high to keep your body feeling the same. Everything you’ve had you’ve thrown away, but you don’t even care as long as you get at least 6 hit’s a day. Without it, it’s all gotten too tough for you to handle. You've fallen so fast in way too deep, if you don’t down some pills you start feeling so weak, Cause your brain's asleep from all the rest the speed never lets you get. So you down some more and take another hit. Nothing matters to you anymore, Except getting high and shutting out the world. You’ve lost your hope for the future and you gave up caring about me, I love you so much but I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I wish you would’ve just listened to me cause if you had this never would’ve happened. But I guess the time spent was just wasted and the memories no longer matter, Cause here I am writing this letter with a broken heart that you shattered. To be honest I really miss you so much, but it hurts too much to admit it. But baby, I really wish that you would stop what you are doing and come back cause I hate seeing you live your life like that. I guess there’s really nothing I could do or say Cause I’ve tried so hard to help you but you kept on turning me away. And with a year's worth of hurt, I hope you understand why I couldn’t stay. I was just so sick of the lies and so damn sick of the pain. You know when I gave you my heart never in a million years did I think it would end this way, But as always you didn’t listen, You could’ve had me but chose your addiction. So now for my hearts' sake, I guess it’s time for me to give up. Cause you’ll never change, For you, I’ll never be enough… I’m sorry.